Well then...

I'm unconvinced that I am able to make myself happy here where I am in life and in the world. I have been thinking more and more about why I went to college in the first place, and the more I think about it the more I feel like it was never really an option. As someone who has made all of their money in skills and trades outside of the history field, and without a degree, I wonder sometimes why I am in college. Alas, with registering for my summer and fall semester classes, and meeting all of my graduation requirements, its hard to even convince myself not to just finish it up after 4 years already. Even my plans for after graduation seem to suggest my degree is somewhat pointless, though seemingly needed. All but a few of my closest friends have moved on from here and from my life, I don't have much to do around here to kill my time in a fulfilling way, and I am really unhappy for the most part. I cant seem to make big enough changes to truly be happy. Which is why when I graduate I am going to do my best to travel, a lot. I don't want to feel alone all the time. I don't to wish I could cuddle up with my gf. I don't even want to have to worry that my family is gone for a week or two. I want to just be too busy having fun to care. I want to just live life as loud as possible for a while after years of keeping it all in because of where I live and what I'm doing.